dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
