that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
A+ Viking dick
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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