you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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