If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
