Got a toothbrush?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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