I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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