Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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