Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize