did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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