I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
