i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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