My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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