Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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