I just cut my nipple shaving
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
