please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Too much gin, very little bucket
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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