theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
