i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
