Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
it's like iHOP with fire
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I fill condoms, not promises.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize