she takes plan B like it's going out of style
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
