It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
