Dual....:-)
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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