she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize