Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!

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(248): View more from Michigan

It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.

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(323): View more from California

Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?

(1-323): View more from California

We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?

(323): View more from California

Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.

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(575): View more from New Mexico

How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(979): View more from Texas

if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....

(843): View more from South Carolina

I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.

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(561): View more from Florida

It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.

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