You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.