I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
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I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
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No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution