Texts From Last Night

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  (905): View more from Toronto

  Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?

  (1-905): View more from Toronto

  i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood

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  (905): Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse? (1-905): i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood http://tfl.nu/oc9k
  Replies (23) Good night (5437) Bad night (1046)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?

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  (603): So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me" (1-603): Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole? http://tfl.nu/54bk
  Replies (6) Good night (2932) Bad night (1087)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.

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  (580): That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything. http://tfl.nu/fbvq
  Replies (77) Good night (2705) Bad night (5013)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time

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  (617): he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time http://tfl.nu/x6gg
  Replies (21) Good night (1229) Bad night (5639)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  wtf

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  (973): yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina (1-973): wtf http://tfl.nu/idhw
  Replies (18) Good night (1468) Bad night (5468)
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  (559): View more from California

  The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.

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  (559): The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway. http://tfl.nu/e3fd
  Replies (7) Good night (2730) Bad night (942)
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  (925): View more from California

  Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.

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  (925): Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night. http://tfl.nu/16il
  Replies (8) Good night (999) Bad night (1727)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?

  (325): View more from Texas

  Jail. That could go wrong.

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  (901): Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong? (325): Jail. That could go wrong. http://tfl.nu/f51a
  Replies (5) Good night (2327) Bad night (837)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.

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  (202): Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood. http://tfl.nu/hors
  Replies (2) Good night (2055) Bad night (819)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.

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  (248): im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night. http://tfl.nu/slk3
  Replies (2) Good night (559) Bad night (1496)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water

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  (701): I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water http://tfl.nu/kjo7
  Replies (4) Good night (486) Bad night (1658)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom

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  (506): I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom http://tfl.nu/kne6
  Replies (14) Good night (653) Bad night (2481)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.

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  (865): I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend. http://tfl.nu/e59a
  Replies (7) Good night (1270) Bad night (466)
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  (925): View more from California

  Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?

  (1-925): View more from California

  Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.

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  (925): Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer? (1-925): Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty. http://tfl.nu/4pgh
  Replies (2) Good night (485) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.

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  (+31): Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night. http://tfl.nu/bd92
  Replies (0) Good night (711) Bad night (270)

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