i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
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