bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
