last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
