Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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