We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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