can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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