I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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