I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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