So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggles of a small town man whore
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize