Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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