Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
