Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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