four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I think my moral compass just broke
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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