I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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