Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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