i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
im about as happy as oj after his trial
this beer tastes like vomit already
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
