Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
