I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
