My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize