the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
