If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize