dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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