The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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