while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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