Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I will die if light touches me.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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