Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize