That's intense
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
