nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
