thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
