note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
