Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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