He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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