Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
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Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
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Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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